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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Vengence	John	Monday, January 25, 2010
Question: Bro. My younger brother was molested as a child by our cousin. He was about 11 yrs old at the time. He is now 39 yrs old. The problem is that is being tormented by those bad memories and wants vengence. He is a detective and he carries a firearm with him at all times. He just informed me that he is going to take a trip to where our cousin lives and "have him taken care of." Brother, I am truly worried about this. Nobody knows about the molestation except for me because he just told me about it a short time ago. He made me promise not to tell anyone and I do not know what to do. As much as I cannot condone what my cousin did to him in the past, I cannot also condone revenge especially if it means taking the abuser's life.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear John: I am very sorry to hear this. What you are describing here is very dangerous for your brother, both psychologically, professionally, and criminally, not to mention the danger to the cousin. Your brother needs to let go of this hatred, unforgiveness, and revenge. The spirit of revenge is one that Satan loves. I would suggest trying to talk some sense into your brother, as if he kills the cousin he will likely be charged with 1st Degree Murder. If he does anything to the cousin, even just beat-up the cousin he will likely lose his job and may go to jail. Is all that worth it? As long as your brother hangs on to this he is allowing himself to be continually abused, not by the cousin, but allowing the past to abuse himself. He needs to see a psychiatrist. If you brother actually intends bodily harm to the cousin and really does travel to go "have him taken care of" then you have a moral duty to God, your brother, your cousin, and to yourself to call the police and report this. If you don't and your brother kills or in anyway hurts your cousin, then you equally complicit to the crime, I think, under state law, but most certainly under Church law. The Catechism states: 1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them: - by participating directly and voluntarily in them; - by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them; - by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so; - by protecting evil-doers. 1869a Thus sin makes men accomplices of one another... I know this is a tough place to be in, but you must protect the life of the cousin, and your brother's life in spite of himself as his life can end in prison (police officers are usually in danger in prison). We will be in prayer for your brother, cousin, and yourself, and the whole situation. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Vengence

John

Monday, January 25, 2010

Question:

Bro.

My younger brother was molested as a child by our cousin. He was about 11 yrs old at the time. He is now 39 yrs old. The problem is that is being tormented by those bad memories and wants vengence. He is a detective and he carries a firearm with him at all times. He just informed me that he is going to take a trip to where our cousin lives and "have him taken care of."

Brother, I am truly worried about this. Nobody knows about the molestation except for me because he just told me about it a short time ago. He made me promise not to tell anyone and I do not know what to do. As much as I cannot condone what my cousin did to him in the past, I cannot also condone revenge especially if it means taking the abuser's life.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear John:

I am very sorry to hear this. What you are describing here is very dangerous for your brother, both psychologically, professionally, and criminally, not to mention the danger to the cousin.

Your brother needs to let go of this hatred, unforgiveness, and revenge. The spirit of revenge is one that Satan loves.

I would suggest trying to talk some sense into your brother, as if he kills the cousin he will likely be charged with 1st Degree Murder. If he does anything to the cousin, even just beat-up the cousin he will likely lose his job and may go to jail. Is all that worth it?

As long as your brother hangs on to this he is allowing himself to be continually abused, not by the cousin, but allowing the past to abuse himself. He needs to see a psychiatrist.

If you brother actually intends bodily harm to the cousin and really does travel to go "have him taken care of" then you have a moral duty to God, your brother, your cousin, and to yourself to call the police and report this. If you don't and your brother kills or in anyway hurts your cousin, then you equally complicit to the crime, I think, under state law, but most certainly under Church law. The Catechism states:

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:

- by participating directly and voluntarily in them;

- by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;

- by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;

- by protecting evil-doers.

1869a Thus sin makes men accomplices of one another...

I know this is a tough place to be in, but you must protect the life of the cousin, and your brother's life in spite of himself as his life can end in prison (police officers are usually in danger in prison).

We will be in prayer for your brother, cousin, and yourself, and the whole situation.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.