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Question Title Posted By Question Date
Demonic Torment Cecilia Thursday, June 3, 2010

Question:

Hi, my name is Cecilia and I am eighteen. I have had a very close personal relationship with God since I was little and about a year and a half ago He asked me to become a nun. I told Him yes. I can hear Him on almost a daily basis and I have had conversations with Him and sometimes He reveals things to me about the future. I know that it's Him because His voice has a benevolent tone and often encourages me to do the right thing or speaks to me about my vocation. Once during Adoration I even held His hands. I have also seen my Guardian Angel, a tall male figure who stands over my bed at night.

But I have experienced a sinister presence as well since I was a little girl. I know that it is demonic in nature because it puts evil thoughts into my head, such as cussing at God (this started when I was seven or eight before I even knew how to use those words) or thoughts in favor of Satan.

These two things are not new to me...but what is new to me is that now this voice (which is very harsh and evil in nature) will change my prayers, especially the Hail Mary, to a prayer to Satan. I can feel its presence and can tell what it is doing, such as whether or not it is listening or how close it is to me. I have heard it laugh at me when it scares me. If it is in the room I can tell where it is. One time I felt it enter into a cat and when I started to pray the Hail Mary out loud the cat jumped down and started crying. It has rapped against the windows when I read from the Bible and once I felt it extremely close at the same time a picture was taken of me. When the picture was developed I had two long claw marks obscuring my face.

I am gravely concerned at the altered prayers because as soon as it changes them it becomes immensely more powerful and I can feel its presence stronger than ever. Obviously not praying is a poor solution but I am at a loss of what to do. I wear a blessed cross and a blessed St. Michael medal and I pray St. Michael the Archangel's prayer several times a day.

I have also started to receive visions, especially at night, that involve horrible scenes of death and destruction as well as of demons. I know what 'my' particular demon looks like and I have seen others as well. Today when I felt the presence stronger than usual something choked me and I was unable to breathe or move for about thirty seconds.

When I am in a church I can no longer 'sense' the demon's presence, and for about twelve hours after I receive the Blessed Eucharist I receive no visions and none of my prayers are altered.

I attend Mass every single Sunday and attend daily Mass when possible. I go to Confession about once a month. I know I sound absolutely crazy which is why I have not yet discussed this with my parish priest but I was just wondering if this sounded like demonic activity and if so what my next course of action should be. Thank you so incredibly much for any help you can offer me. I am at a loss at what to do.



Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Cecilia:

If you have a close and intimate relationship with God, even having revelations and visions, then it is common that the devil will attack you. The devil wants to spoil your relationship with God.

Anyone who has visions, but especially you since you are also having demonic attacks, needs to be under direction of wise and experienced Spiritual Director who knows about things like private revelations and visions.

Never, but never, try to interpret your experiences on your own. For example, you said, "I know that it's Him because His voice has a benevolent tone and often encourages me to do the right thing". It is possible to the devil to do this. The Bible says that the devil can appear as an "angel of light." Now I am NOT saying that your experience was a trick of the devil. What I am saying is that these things must be carefully discerned because the devil can be and is a very tricky dude.

Thus, it is critically important that you seek spiritual direction. I recommend the book, Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within by Father Thomas Dubay. In this book, Father Dubay explains the nature of spiritual direction, how to find a director, and what to do if a director cannot be found. It is an excellent book.

I also recommend to all people who believe they are having private revelations, visions, locutions and the like, the book, A Still, Small Voice: A Practical Guide on Reported Revelations by Father Benedict J. Groeschel.

As for the attacks you are receiving, I suggest to check out our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog, linked below. There are prayers of protection, bedtime protection prayer, prayer to control thoughts, and rebuking prayers.

You must approach this as warfare because it is war. You must put on the Armor of God daily (Ephesians 6), and protect yourself by the weapons God has given to us -- the Mass and the Eucharist, the Sacrament of Confession, the rosary, other devotional prayers, spiritual warfare prayers, sacramentals (such as the St. Benedict Medal), our pastors, the Parish community, the Saints (especially our Blessed Mother, St. Michael the archangel, Sts. Benedict, Basil, Bruno, Dymphna, and others.

Finally, with these weapons of our warfare that we wage against the devil, you must persevere. Perseverance is the key of the Christian life.

Remember these verses:

(1 Cor 10:13)  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

(Rom 8:28, 35, 37-39)  We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(2 Cor 10:3-6)  For though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.

If you are called to be a nun, you will need to visit some convents, take retreats, to decide which you may enter. The vocation directors at these convents may be able to help you with some of this as well.

One last piece of advice. I recommend that you follow the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance linked below. That will help you get the hedge of protection against the devil strong and resistant to him.

We will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

 

 


For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.