Dear Paul:

The Handfasting tradition goes way back. It was the way many cultures performed the wedding ceremony. It is this ceremony that brought us the saying, "to tie the knot" in reference to marriage.

It was a ceremony that pre-dates Christianity, but before the 7th century was used in the Celtic Christianity. Handfasting was suppressed following the Synod of Whitby in A.D. 664 when Celtic Christianity was abandoned for the Catholic Church. There are small bands of people trying to resurrect Celtic Christianity and bring back handfasting ceremonies.

Handfasting and other rituals were mostly a private matter. But, Bishop Ignatius of Antioch (c. A.D. 110) wrote the following to Bishop Polycarp of Smyrna, "[I]t becomes both men and women who marry, to form their union with the approval of the bishop, that their marriage may be according to God, and not after their own lust." St. Ignatius here is teaching that marriage should not be a mere private matter, but that the Church must be involved.

The marriage ceremony within the Catholic Church did not require the presence of a priest until the 16th century. It is possible that handfasting may have be part of the private ceremonies, I do not know. In 1563, however, the Council of Trent, in response to marriage becoming a state matter in Protestantism, decreed that the only marriages recognized by the Roman Catholic Church are those in which the ceremony was officiated by a priest, with two witnesses.

Modern neo-pagans and witches and the like the handfasting tradition as it gives them a ritual basis for marriage without coming to the Church.

That is a brief background.

Now concerning your situation. The first question concerns whether or not your son and his wife are Catholic or non-Catholic Christian?

Then we need to ask why they is doing this? What does handfasting mean to them? What do they know of it? Why handfasting instead of a traditional renewal of vows? Are they including handfasting as part of a Christian expression, or will this be a pagan or wicca expression?

Will they do this themselves, or will someone officiate? If someone officiates, who?

If they are Catholic the real question is why they are not renewing their vows in the Church. Priests are often called upon to conduct a ceremony of renewal of vows of the couple, and to bless their marriage. Why are they not doing this?

As for the answer that it okay to "attend as long as you do not participate" generally refers to non-Christian marriage ceremonies. It is not a sin to attend a non-Christian wedding.

Here, however, we have a renewal of vows. Was their actual marriage in the Church? or secular?

There are many questions that need answered before one can decide the question of whether or not to attend this ceremony.

If you son is Catholic and had Catholic wedding, but this renewal is actually wiccan (handfasting is not automatically wiccan), then I would not attend. To attend such an event is to support the rebellion against God and His Church.

If it is not a wiccan event, but your son and his wife just think this is a quaint practice, and they have no thoughts that are opposed to the Church, then you might attend.

If you son is Catholic and was married in the Catholic Church, then this ceremony should be done with a priest, who can bless their marriage. I would protest the lack of a priest to bless the marriage in this case, but you may still wish to attend.

Bottomline: it depends on the answers to all these questions.

We will be praying for you and your wife, and your son and his wife.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary