Dear Steve:

I am sorry to hear about your sister's suffering, and the suffering of the family in concern for her.

Disease and illness is part of life in this fallen world. We all suffer from the consequences of the sin of our parents, Adam and Eve. As disease and illness are now a natural part of life we must accept that it exists, that we suffer from it, and in some cases the illnesses may be chronic or incurable.

God does not leave us abandoned in this state. He has provided us with the miracle of medicine to help us in our illnesses. Medicine has its limitations, of course. Not every disease or illness can be cured. I suffer from an incurable condition that puts me in pain, sometimes a lot of pain, each and every day. I must accept that fact.

But, God does not abandon us even when medicine does not work. He promises us that, "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). This does not promise all things will be good, but that the good and the bad God will make into good if we let him. In otherwords, God can make sweet lemonade out of the lemons in our life. God does not lie, thus this promise is true.

While we can certainly pray for healing we must understand that healing may not come. Miraculous cures are very rare. God is mostly concerned about the healing of our soul than the healing of our body or mind. What good is it to be healed of all physical and mental ailments and end up in hell? The health of our soul is the primary concern we should have.

St. Paul has a "thorn in his side" that he asked three times for God to take away. God said no three times because it was in the best interest of St. Paul to not be freed from this affliction. St. Paul was a proud man. God allow St. Paul to continue to suffer to keep him humble. With that St. Paul learned two things that are critical for us to learn today. 1) the grace of God is sufficient. We do not need healing, we need Christ and his grace; 2) in his weakness he found himself strong in Christ.

We should not recoil from suffering. Suffering is a great privilege and gift. In our suffering we can share in the suffering of Christ and offer our suffering up to Christ for the conversion of souls. Second, our suffering may keep us humble and dependent upon our Lord.

I have had healers ask me if I wanted them to pray over me for healing. I have always told them no. I say, if God wishes to heal me, then praise God; if not, praise God. I know that I have never been closer to God than after I became disabled. I would rather remain in pain and close to God then to be healed and take God for granted.

Suffering is redemptive. I would recommend that your sister and your family read the book, Making Sense Out of Suffering by Peter Kreeft. I also recommend, Suffering: The Catholic Answer by Hubert Van Zeller.

We must all accept the lemons in our lives and accept that God can make lemonade in a way that is in our best interest, rather than in the way that we wish.

As human parents we do not always give our children what they want. We know what is best for them and will give them what is best for the child at the time. A five year old, for example, may not be ready for a BB gun no matter how much he wants one.

God knows what is best for us. We must accept His Will. We can always ask our father for healing or whatever, but we must accept no as an answer, or maybe, or not yet. We can trust that God has our best interests at heart and will never do anything that is contrary to what is best for us.

Thus, yes, we can "blame" a person for losing faith because they don't get what they want. When I say "blame" I am speaking to the point that feeling sorry for oneself, anger towards God, or losing faith because one does not get what they want is pride and immaturity.

God says that all things work together for good. He does not lie. Thus, your sister and the family need to begin looking for what is good in this situation. Where is the sweet lemonade that God is offering you?  Look for ways that all this can bring all of you closer together as a family. There are wonderful opportunities in that. Also look for ways in which the family can be closer to God. There are wonderful opportunities for that too. You are all sitting on a spiritual gold-mine and don't even know it.

Ultimately, this situation allows your sister and the family to offer up the suffering for the conversion of souls. Is not your sister's suffering and that of the family worth the price of someone's soul?

Normally, we cannot know who receives the benefit of our sacrifice, but I had the privilege of seeing first hand the results of a sacrifice I made. I offered to God a sacrifice to save my mother's life that was not required, but would bring great suffering to me over the follow year. My mother was in a vegetative coma after suffering multiple strokes caused from knee replacement surgery. The doctors said there was no hope.

Two days after I offered myself to suffer, my mother woke up to the surprise of the doctors. Not only did she wake up but she suffered very little damage from the strokes. Thus, I went through suffering that I did not have to go through and my mother woke up and was 95% healed when she was not suppose to have lived.

That is just one example of how our giving our suffering to God can have major effect. Now, this happening to me in which I personally saw the results of my offering to God is extremely rare. I offer my suffering up to God all the time. I will not know in this life how many people may have benefited from my sacrifice. I count it a great privilege to suffer. You and your sister can too. Untold numbers of people may benefit from the suffering of your sister and the family. What a privilege!

We can never expect to see the flowering of the seeds we plant, or the results of the sacrifices we offer. It is not important for us to see those things; that is mere vanity. What is important is that we make the offer for the love of Christ and our neighbor.

Your sister and your family need to trust God that he actually knows what he is doing. He knows what is best for your sister and your family. This suffering your sister is experiencing is a great opportunity to get closer to God (not further from Him). It is an opportunity to turn this suffering into great joy.

All of us need to come to a place where we abandon ourselves, resign ourselves, into God's arms. In our counseling apostolate we take our clients through a session called Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom (pdf file). This is a "must read". Read and meditate on the teaching of this pamphlet and pray the prayers. Abandon yourself into God's loving arms. Trust in Him.

We will be praying for your sister and for the family.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary