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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
'Talking' to a deceased relative , undue attachments	Maria	Friday, June 15, 2012
Question: This is with regrad to a family member , who recently lost her husband ; she was very dependant on him ( even seeing such dependance as a mark of her honoring his role ! ) and mentioned how she spends lot of time now 'talking ' to him . Could this border on what The Church prohibits as being related to 'necromancy ' - even though the latter seems lots more in the occultic realm. My understanding is that when The Church promotes veneration of saints and asking for their intercession, we are aligning God's will with our own and making ourselves available for the love that the saints have, for all of God's people . For a deceased relative, who might need to be set free to move more into God's holiness and love, who can still 'pray for us' , could 'talking' with him, somehow hamper that, by sort of trying to get him back unduly into the affairs of the world or even open channels for other spirits! This relative also has history of depression, anxiety and panic attacks; even though she tried to become more of a person of faith and prayer, esp. since the onset of her husband's illness few years back, she has had an affinity for casino gambling. Having heard how casinos employ satanic worshippers, has noted that those who frequent them even only occasionally seem to have a tendency for greed in other areas too - such as greed for control , vainglory etc ; which can all be very detrimental in relationships - this has been observed even for those who have been into prayer group, daily Mass etc ; even for years and they seem oblivious of same in themselves too! Now, including them in the rebuking prayers against spirit of greed, as given at your site . Hope our churches would stay away from promoting any sort of gambling related themes too such as bingo games or even lottery ! A good gospel singing with sharing of some good food and donating funds because one wants to - guess we can learn from our Baptst brethren's church activities ! When the churches, instead of battling evil tendencies sort of see them as 'fun', can see that the bad leaven can do lot of harm , by taking away from the trusting relationship with The Lord and His Way . Thank you again for you site and ministry .
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r) Dear Maria: I am sorry for the loss of your relative. We will certainly be in prayer for her and for the repose of her husband. Your presentation lists two completely difference topics. I prefer one topic per question. Anyway, to the first question about your relative talking to her dead husband: I see nothing wrong with this per se unless she is using occult devices to reach her husband. The word "Necromancy" comes through the French and Latin implying black magic. Necromancy is the conjuration of the spirits of the dead, usually for purposes of magically revealing the future (divination) or influencing the course of events. If this relative is just sitting at the kitchen table, as-it-were, and chatting with her husband, many people do that, especially just after the loved-one dies. This is part of the grieving process. Normally, the person does not necessary perceive any response from the spirit of the dead person. In my essay, Seven Kinds of Ghosts, I speak about occasions in which God allows a person after death to linger on earth to comfort and say goodbye to loved-ones (the Fifth Kind of ghost). In this phenomena a person may see, sense, or smell the presence of the dead loved-one, and sometime hear the spirit, and still other times have a conversation with the spirit. So, this is possible if God wills it. Such phenomena cannot be initiated by us (when we initiate an attempt to contact spirit, we are sinning as that is an occult practice, and if any spirit responds or appears, it is not our loved-one or any spiritual entity from God). Since the death is a recent one, I would give your family member a little slack. This is most likely part of her grieving process, I am assuming, since I have not talked to her. If she is still doing this six months or a year from now, then you may need to tactfully explore with her about her talking to her dead husband. How she understands the experience, the frequency of the experience, and the details of the experience (does he talk back, does he appear to her, does he move things around, etc.) are all pertinent questions in determining if there is a problem. If things are moving around, or if he tells her to do anything or think anything that is contrary to Truth, the faith of our Lord and Church, then we can suspect right now that there is probable problem. As for the question on gambling: I agree with you. I personally think it is scandalous for the Church to have "bingo night". The thought of non-Catholics thinking our parish Churches, which are Holy Ground, is a place of gambling, irks me to no end. But, there is nothing sinful about gambling, unless one is gambling their rent check, or food money, etc. Since it is not sinful, parishes are not sinning for providing this "entertainment". I am mindful of the warnings by St. Paul: (1 Cor 6:12) "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything. (1 Cor 10:23) "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up. In his book, Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales, (an absolute must read) the saint condemned gambling on games of chance because it offends the virtue of reason. Wagering on games in which the parties rely upon their skill (instead of luck), such as a game of Chess, is permissible to the Saint. The admonition remains about gambling, of any sort, being sinful if one is gambling away money needed by his family. If I were a parish priest, there would be no bingo in my parish. As Provost of the Oblates and Missioners of St. Michael, there will be no gambling to raise money; either people give out of the kindness of their heart or we close this whole apostolate down if there is not enough support. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

'Talking' to a deceased relative , undue attachments

Maria

Friday, June 15, 2012

Question:

This is with regrad to a family member , who recently lost her husband ; she was very dependant on him ( even seeing such dependance as a mark of her honoring his role ! ) and mentioned how she spends lot of time now 'talking ' to him .

Could this border on what The Church prohibits as being related to 'necromancy ' - even though the latter seems lots more in the occultic realm.

My understanding is that when The Church promotes veneration of saints and asking for their intercession, we are aligning God's will with our own and making ourselves available for the love that the saints have, for all of God's people .

For a deceased relative, who might need to be set free to move more into God's holiness and love, who can still 'pray for us' , could 'talking' with him, somehow hamper that, by sort of trying to get him back unduly into the affairs of the world or even open channels for other spirits!

This relative also has history of depression, anxiety and panic attacks; even though she tried to become more of a person of faith and prayer, esp. since the onset of her husband's illness few years back, she has had an affinity for casino gambling.

Having heard how casinos employ satanic worshippers, has noted that those who frequent them even only occasionally seem to have a tendency for greed in other areas too - such as greed for control , vainglory etc ; which can all be very detrimental in relationships - this has been observed even for those who have been into prayer group, daily Mass etc ; even for years and they seem oblivious of same in themselves too!

Now, including them in the rebuking prayers against spirit of greed, as given at your site .

Hope our churches would stay away from promoting any sort of gambling related themes too such as bingo games or even lottery !

A good gospel singing with sharing of some good food and donating funds because one wants to - guess we can learn from our Baptst brethren's church activities !

When the churches, instead of battling evil tendencies sort of see them as 'fun', can see that the bad leaven can do lot of harm , by taking away from the trusting relationship with The Lord and His Way .

Thank you again for you site and ministry .

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r)

Dear Maria:

I am sorry for the loss of your relative. We will certainly be in prayer for her and for the repose of her husband.

Your presentation lists two completely difference topics. I prefer one topic per question.

Anyway, to the first question about your relative talking to her dead husband: I see nothing wrong with this per se unless she is using occult devices to reach her husband. The word "Necromancy" comes through the French and Latin implying black magic. Necromancy is the conjuration of the spirits of the dead, usually for purposes of magically revealing the future (divination) or influencing the course of events.

If this relative is just sitting at the kitchen table, as-it-were, and chatting with her husband, many people do that, especially just after the loved-one dies. This is part of the grieving process. Normally, the person does not necessary perceive any response from the spirit of the dead person.

In my essay, Seven Kinds of Ghosts, I speak about occasions in which God allows a person after death to linger on earth to comfort and say goodbye to loved-ones (the Fifth Kind of ghost). In this phenomena a person may see, sense, or smell the presence of the dead loved-one, and sometime hear the spirit, and still other times have a conversation with the spirit.

So, this is possible if God wills it. Such phenomena cannot be initiated by us (when we initiate an attempt to contact spirit, we are sinning as that is an occult practice, and if any spirit responds or appears, it is not our loved-one or any spiritual entity from God).

Since the death is a recent one, I would give your family member a little slack. This is most likely part of her grieving process, I am assuming, since I have not talked to her. If she is still doing this six months or a year from now, then you may need to tactfully explore with her about her talking to her dead husband.

How she understands the experience, the frequency of the experience, and the details of the experience (does he talk back, does he appear to her, does he move things around, etc.) are all pertinent questions in determining if there is a problem. If things are moving around, or if he tells her to do anything or think anything that is contrary to Truth, the faith of our Lord and Church, then we can suspect right now that there is probable problem.

As for the question on gambling: I agree with you. I personally think it is scandalous for the Church to have "bingo night". The thought of non-Catholics thinking our parish Churches, which are Holy Ground, is a place of gambling, irks me to no end.

But, there is nothing sinful about gambling, unless one is gambling their rent check, or food money, etc. Since it is not sinful, parishes are not sinning for providing this "entertainment".

I am mindful of the warnings by St. Paul:

(1 Cor 6:12) "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything.

(1 Cor 10:23) "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up.

In his book, Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales, (an absolute must read) the saint condemned gambling on games of chance because it offends the virtue of reason. Wagering on games in which the parties rely upon their skill (instead of luck), such as a game of Chess, is permissible to the Saint.

The admonition remains about gambling, of any sort, being sinful if one is gambling away money needed by his family.

If I were a parish priest, there would be no bingo in my parish. As Provost of the Oblates and Missioners of St. Michael, there will be no gambling to raise money; either people give out of the kindness of their heart or we close this whole apostolate down if there is not enough support.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.