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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
My Mother in law	GD	Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Question: Dear Bro. Ignatius, My question is regarding my mother inlaw and how do I deal with her? I need to give a detailed description of our situation for you to be able to properly advise me. All the people in this description are born, baptized and raised Roman Catholics. Several years ago my sister inlaw (SA) converted to Islam to marry a Muslim man. My mother inlaw ( her mother) gave her blessings to this wedding even attending it along with the rest of the Catholic family. Most of the rest of the Catholic family are deep into the New age and so convinced my MIL that it was ok if she converted stating that we do not know into which religion we are reborn ( reincarnated) so it doesn’t really matter which religion we belong to. My husband was also part of this entire affair ( we were not married then), but has since studied about the Islamic religion and has realized what is really is all about and has been dead against it and is now deep into his Catholic faith. SA initially has said that she wont involve the rest of the family into her faith, but has gone back on her promise ever since she got into higher Islamic studies. We tried reasoning with her but she has just accused us of blasphemy and her only response to most of our queries is “out of context”. She has not been in touch with us much after all the arguments and also our rejection of her dinner invitation ( we live in the same state in a Muslim country). My MIL had been diagnosed with Breast cancer a few years back and I was the only person available to help her during this time. All of her children are living in distant countries and are working and could not quit their jobs to be with her during her treatment and so I volunteered. During this time I got the opportunity to remind her of her Catholic roots and everything the Church teaches crushing the new age teaching she used to very fondly keep talking about. She got convinced at this time also started praying deeply as in the Catholic tradition and received total healing from her grade 3 cancer stage and has been cancer free ever since. But since this healing she went to live with her new age daughters and again reverted back to the new age style. She is very fond of her daughter ( SH) who has a new age guru. My MIL tries to hide this fact that she is back into the new age but with her sudden dietary changes and other practices it is pretty evident. Now we also heard from other family member that her Islamic daughter has been calling up and speaking to her about Islam trying to get her to convert. Now this same daughter wants her to come live with her for a month or 2 to spend some quality time with her. My Mil had agreed. My husband has warned his mother that if she deviates from her faith he will not set foot in her house. She still keeps repeating that she will only believe in the Catholic faith. My question is how do I deal with her? I have already talked to her about the faith and she religiously followed it till she was healed. I don’t want to be a constant nag. And if she believes only the Catholic faith why does she think it is ok for her daughters ( who she claims to love a lot) to follow NA and Islam. Do I just let it go and pretend everything is ok? I still pray for her and the rest of the family and am still ready to help her when she needs it. But I find it very difficult to talk to her. Any advice will be helpful. God Bless you.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r) Dear GD: I am sorry to hear about so many family members abandoning the Catholic Faith. We will certainly pray for them. We need to remember that our job is not to convince anyone of anything. The job of convincing belongs to the Holy Spirit. Our job is to be a messenger, to assert the Gospel truth in as persuasively manner as we know how, but leave the convincing to the Holy Spirit. St. Paul teaches us to avoid unproductive argumentation. Thus, we need to state the truth, we need to encourage people to follow Christ, we need to encourage people to return to their faith, but we should never nag. Most people do not respond to nagging and will usually entrench their view rather than to give in to the nag. Instead, let your family members know your concerns and then let it go. Commit them to prayer, be ready to answer their questions should they ask any, and help them to return to the Church if they come to you for help. Otherwise, allow the Holy Spirit to deal with them. There are prayers in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog, linked below, designed to address issues like this, specifically Hedge Prayer for Return of Wayward Catholics. Remember, that your duty is to prayer, not to see the benefits of your prayers. God does not always give us the privilege of seeing the fruits of our prayer. Your persistent in prayer for them may not blossom until after you are dead. Be faithful, persistent, and persevere in prayer. And, if they come to you for discussion, questions, or help, give it lovingly. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

My Mother in law

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Question:

Dear Bro. Ignatius,
My question is regarding my mother inlaw and how do I deal with her? I need to give a detailed description of our situation for you to be able to properly advise me.

All the people in this description are born, baptized and raised Roman Catholics. Several years ago my sister inlaw (SA) converted to Islam to marry a Muslim man. My mother inlaw ( her mother) gave her blessings to this wedding even attending it along with the rest of the Catholic family. Most of the rest of the Catholic family are deep into the New age and so convinced my MIL that it was ok if she converted stating that we do not know into which religion we are reborn ( reincarnated) so it doesn’t really matter which religion we belong to. My husband was also part of this entire affair ( we were not married then), but has since studied about the Islamic religion and has realized what is really is all about and has been dead against it and is now deep into his Catholic faith.

SA initially has said that she wont involve the rest of the family into her faith, but has gone back on her promise ever since she got into higher Islamic studies. We tried reasoning with her but she has just accused us of blasphemy and her only response to most of our queries is “out of context”. She has not been in touch with us much after all the arguments and also our rejection of her dinner invitation ( we live in the same state in a Muslim country).

My MIL had been diagnosed with Breast cancer a few years back and I was the only person available to help her during this time. All of her children are living in distant countries and are working and could not quit their jobs to be with her during her treatment and so I volunteered.

During this time I got the opportunity to remind her of her Catholic roots and everything the Church teaches crushing the new age teaching she used to very fondly keep talking about. She got convinced at this time also started praying deeply as in the Catholic tradition and received total healing from her grade 3 cancer stage and has been cancer free ever since. But since this healing she went to live with her new age daughters and again reverted back to the new age style. She is very fond of her daughter ( SH) who has a new age guru. My MIL tries to hide this fact that she is back into the new age but with her sudden dietary changes and other practices it is pretty evident.

Now we also heard from other family member that her Islamic daughter has been calling up and speaking to her about Islam trying to get her to convert. Now this same daughter wants her to come live with her for a month or 2 to spend some quality time with her. My Mil had agreed. My husband has warned his mother that if she deviates from her faith he will not set foot in her house. She still keeps repeating that she will only believe in the Catholic faith.

My question is how do I deal with her? I have already talked to her about the faith and she religiously followed it till she was healed. I don’t want to be a constant nag. And if she believes only the Catholic faith why does she think it is ok for her daughters ( who she claims to love a lot) to follow NA and Islam. Do I just let it go and pretend everything is ok? I still pray for her and the rest of the family and am still ready to help her when she needs it. But I find it very difficult to talk to her.

Any advice will be helpful. God Bless you.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r)

Dear GD:

I am sorry to hear about so many family members abandoning the Catholic Faith. We will certainly pray for them.

We need to remember that our job is not to convince anyone of anything. The job of convincing belongs to the Holy Spirit. Our job is to be a messenger, to assert the Gospel truth in as persuasively manner as we know how, but leave the convincing to the Holy Spirit.

St. Paul teaches us to avoid unproductive argumentation. Thus, we need to state the truth, we need to encourage people to follow Christ, we need to encourage people to return to their faith, but we should never nag.

Most people do not respond to nagging and will usually entrench their view rather than to give in to the nag. Instead, let your family members know your concerns and then let it go. Commit them to prayer, be ready to answer their questions should they ask any, and help them to return to the Church if they come to you for help. Otherwise, allow the Holy Spirit to deal with them.

There are prayers in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog, linked below, designed to address issues like this, specifically Hedge Prayer for Return of Wayward Catholics.

Remember, that your duty is to prayer, not to see the benefits of your prayers. God does not always give us the privilege of seeing the fruits of our prayer. Your persistent in prayer for them may not blossom until after you are dead.

Be faithful, persistent, and persevere in prayer. And, if they come to you for discussion, questions, or help, give it lovingly.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.