I have selected "Satanist" under "faith tradition" because Luciferian is not listed. I do not practice or believe in this. It is an abominable word to me. I believe in God and the Catholic religion, though I am not one of you. I find it difficult to pray, impossible at times, but I try. I was raised in a small "left-hand path" cult. It was abusive and sinister, but not in the same ways, perhaps, as a Satanic cult. Probably in essence there is little difference. I've never seen a black mass, or a killing, or anything of the sort. It was more subtle than that.

This is the way it was explained to me as a very young child:

"The left hand is evil, the right hand is good; this is a left-hand path. The left is right, the right is wrong."

"The blind see better in the dark."

The more you see, the less you know.

I was raised to practice the occult - divination in particular, though it wasn't limited to that. Almost ten years ago, I stopped. Why? The White Dove Spirit came to me and taught me things. But the Black Snake Spirit tortures me. I've stopped asking why.

They told me I was "special" - why? Because I wasn't sold into slavery like the little girls who would disappear? Because I was to be their spiritual slave? I don't feel special. This was international, it's how they make their money.

I was taught that the Crucifix is the symbol of Satan; that the Catholic Church which "persecutes us" is the Church of Satan; that the Papacy is a Satanic institution, etc.

I was taught to read upside down, and backwards - I was hypnotized and drugged. I was molested, denigrated, humiliated, and nearly everyday I was beaten because that's how they show love. "Only the strong survive." You must never betray the family by speaking. I was told that if I did, nobody would believe me, and that I would be taken to a place where I would be chained to a wall in a basement where I would be raped and beaten and starved until my death. I'm shaking, I'm afraid. I love my family. I want us all to go to Heaven, someday.

I am many people in one. I do not feel that I can trust a therapist; I fear no priest would believe me, were I able to speak.

At this point, I cannot. I am too weak, I must sleep. I'm feeling very ill and cold trying to type this. I'm the one that sleeps who awaits good things, and salvation. I am trapped and controlled. I was wounded by Desdemona and am recovering. I've awakened from my slumber only long enough to write you. I must live in secrecy to survive. Please pray for me. I must resist Satan day and night, for he has come to me in person to declare war on my soul. I fight, but I do not always emerge victorious. In the end, with God's help, I will.

I wish for your prayers, and for the death of Desdemona. I am the one called Sleeping Butterfly. Even I am afraid, though I trust God.

I am told I will regret this. So be it. Please pray that I will wake up when I should that I may see your reply.

Goodnight, and thank you. May God bless us all.