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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Perhaps I did a poor job....	Demensira	Monday, May 7, 2007
Question: I think I might have done a poor job constructing my questions. This is not really a question, so feel free not to post this message because I just feel the need to clear a few things up that seemed to be reoccurring themes in your responses. First. No one introduced me to to this. And although I never viewed my parents as 'good catholics' they are good people. They're both loving, compassionate, stern, supportive, etc, etc... and I have the utmost respect for them. Second. About baggage. My childhood was nice. There aren't many bad memories other then the usual puberty driven fits of rage every adolescence experiences at one time or another. I was never abused, never rejected, never socially awkward. By baggage do you mean choice to serve Lucifer? Finally - Comfort. I think you're confusing the fact that I have accepted my choices, with Lucifer leaving me be or perhaps putting on the kid gloves. Let me just assure you that that is simply not the case at all. They are always relentless and the only peace you get is when you submit. About my questions - I was not just asking about why god would allow a child to make such a important decision. In retrospect, I have to say that at the time I certainly was not capable of making that type of decision. And it makes me wonder if I hadn't, would I believe the way I do now? I do understand that life is a series of choices. And that each choice we make shapes us as individuals. Even as adults they change us in some way, for better or worse. I keep asking why, but they're each their own question. Why is it I have an apparently unshakable contempt for god and everything associated with him? Why is it that the only time I get satisfaction out of anything is when I watch people fall to sin? Why is it that the idea of hell, damnation, whatever, is alluring to me? Why is it when I need strength I reach to anger? Basically, why do I just drink it all up? I realize now that you, and possibly no one, is in a position to answer these questions. But that doesn't mean I don't still want to understand. It's funny actually - that you mention "It just is". I did post something mildly similar on another forum when this confusion first cropped up. And that's exactly the way I explained it. Except I don't seek to understand Satan, I seek to understand myself. ;) At this point I have to accept "That's just the way it is". I guess I can thank our beloved god for that, heh.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Demensira: Normally I do not allow a second followup, but I'll make an exception here since there may be some educative value for our readers. You must remember that when I answer questions I answer them not only for the questioner but also for the whole readership of this forum. Thus, I often give answers that far exceed the specific question. In this I am educating the whole readership about an issue even if the questioner hasn't asked for that level of detail or may already know the information. Secondly, in your case specifically, I am speculating about the possibilities of your situation. That is all I can do since I have not interviewed you. But in giving the possibilities I again am educating the total readership. For example, even though you have stated that you do not have any childhood baggage or that no one around you introduced you to Satanism or put you into Satanism, my speculation about that is still educative to the readership in that such a scenario is the most often reason someone like yourself would be in the place you are in. I understand that those speculations do not apply in your case. But, you will remember that in my post I also said that perhaps the speculations were wrong and that you may never know for sure about the "whys". Speaking to your case directly, perhaps you are the victim of pure random and arbitrary attention by Satan. As I previously mentioned the devil can be utterly random and arbitrary. Perhaps there is no reason for you to have had the history you have had. That is possible. No reason, other than an arbitrary and random targeting by the devil. The primary point of my posts to you, however, is that discovering and understanding the genesis of your Satanism is besides the point. The point is that you have the ability to choose NOW. You may choose to continue in your Satanism, or choose something else. As to your comfort in all this, I did not mean to imply at all that Satan would "leave you be." Just the opposite. You will pay for this decision not only in the ultimate sense of eternal damnation, but in the current sense of how the devil treats you. The devil is not a gentleman. And, if you were to make the decision to walk away from Satan I guarantee you that all hell will break loose--literally. You will be under attack like you have never known. To choose another path will cost you. But the reward can be eternal life. That is worth the cost, though I realize that you may not agree. You ask the question of whether you would believe the way you do today if you had not chosen Satanism all those years ago. I assure you that you would not believe or feel the way you do today if you had made another choice back then. The beliefs and feelings you have today are a direct result of your decisions then and your continued choices now. Why do you have that contempt for God, etc.? Because you made a decision to follow Satan. Contempt for God, satisfaction in watching others fall into sin, hell being alluring, anger as your strength -- all these things are the natural consequences of your decision to follow Satan. Frankly, Demensira, while those feelings and beliefs are the natural consequences of the choices you have made, your particular ease with this implies one of two possibilities: 1) you are pulling my chain; 2) you may be possessed. Either way, you will be in our prayers. I thank you for contacting us. It has been interesting and educative to our readers and I hope a pause for thought for yourself. It is time to move on. If you should ever change your mind and wish to reject Satan and come to the side of God, let me know and I will help you, even though I will get beat up by the devil by helping you. That is an occupational hazard for me and one that I take regularly and willingly by the grace of God and His protection. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Perhaps I did a poor job....

Demensira

Monday, May 7, 2007

Question:

I think I might have done a poor job constructing my questions.

This is not really a question, so feel free not to post this message because I just feel the need to clear a few things up that seemed to be reoccurring themes in your responses.

First. No one introduced me to to this. And although I never viewed my parents as 'good catholics' they are good people. They're both loving, compassionate, stern, supportive, etc, etc... and I have the utmost respect for them.

Second. About baggage. My childhood was nice. There aren't many bad memories other then the usual puberty driven fits of rage every adolescence experiences at one time or another. I was never abused, never rejected, never socially awkward.

By baggage do you mean choice to serve Lucifer?

Finally - Comfort. I think you're confusing the fact that I have accepted my choices, with Lucifer leaving me be or perhaps putting on the kid gloves. Let me just assure you that that is simply not the case at all. They are always relentless and the only peace you get is when you submit.

About my questions -

I was not just asking about why god would allow a child to make such a important decision. In retrospect, I have to say that at the time I certainly was not capable of making that type of decision. And it makes me wonder if I hadn't, would I believe the way I do now?

I do understand that life is a series of choices. And that each choice we make shapes us as individuals. Even as adults they change us in some way, for better or worse.

I keep asking why, but they're each their own question. Why is it I have an apparently unshakable contempt for god and everything associated with him? Why is it that the only time I get satisfaction out of anything is when I watch people fall to sin? Why is it that the idea of hell, damnation, whatever, is alluring to me? Why is it when I need strength I reach to anger? Basically, why do I just drink it all up?

I realize now that you, and possibly no one, is in a position to answer these questions. But that doesn't mean I don't still want to understand.

It's funny actually - that you mention "It just is". I did post something mildly similar on another forum when this confusion first cropped up. And that's exactly the way I explained it. Except I don't seek to understand Satan, I seek to understand myself. ;) At this point I have to accept "That's just the way it is".

I guess I can thank our beloved god for that, heh.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Demensira:

Normally I do not allow a second followup, but I'll make an exception here since there may be some educative value for our readers.

You must remember that when I answer questions I answer them not only for the questioner but also for the whole readership of this forum. Thus, I often give answers that far exceed the specific question. In this I am educating the whole readership about an issue even if the questioner hasn't asked for that level of detail or may already know the information.

Secondly, in your case specifically, I am speculating about the possibilities of your situation. That is all I can do since I have not interviewed you. But in giving the possibilities I again am educating the total readership. For example, even though you have stated that you do not have any childhood baggage or that no one around you introduced you to Satanism or put you into Satanism, my speculation about that is still educative to the readership in that such a scenario is the most often reason someone like yourself would be in the place you are in.

I understand that those speculations do not apply in your case. But, you will remember that in my post I also said that perhaps the speculations were wrong and that you may never know for sure about the "whys".

Speaking to your case directly, perhaps you are the victim of pure random and arbitrary attention by Satan. As I previously mentioned the devil can be utterly random and arbitrary. Perhaps there is no reason for you to have had the history you have had. That is possible. No reason, other than an arbitrary and random targeting by the devil.

The primary point of my posts to you, however, is that discovering and understanding the genesis of your Satanism is besides the point. The point is that you have the ability to choose NOW. You may choose to continue in your Satanism, or choose something else.

As to your comfort in all this, I did not mean to imply at all that Satan would "leave you be." Just the opposite. You will pay for this decision not only in the ultimate sense of eternal damnation, but in the current sense of how the devil treats you. The devil is not a gentleman.

And, if you were to make the decision to walk away from Satan I guarantee you that all hell will break loose--literally. You will be under attack like you have never known. To choose another path will cost you. But the reward can be eternal life. That is worth the cost, though I realize that you may not agree.

You ask the question of whether you would believe the way you do today if you had not chosen Satanism all those years ago. I assure you that you would not believe or feel the way you do today if you had made another choice back then.

The beliefs and feelings you have today are a direct result of your decisions then and your continued choices now. Why do you have that contempt for God, etc.? Because you made a decision to follow Satan. Contempt for God, satisfaction in watching others fall into sin, hell being alluring, anger as your strength -- all these things are the natural consequences of your decision to follow Satan.

Frankly, Demensira, while those feelings and beliefs are the natural consequences of the choices you have made, your particular ease with this implies one of two possibilities: 1) you are pulling my chain; 2) you may be possessed.

Either way, you will be in our prayers.

I thank you for contacting us. It has been interesting and educative to our readers and I hope a pause for thought for yourself. It is time to move on.

If you should ever change your mind and wish to reject Satan and come to the side of God, let me know and I will help you, even though I will get beat up by the devil by helping you. That is an occupational hazard for me and one that I take regularly and willingly by the grace of God and His protection.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.