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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Discouraged and defeated	cordelia	Monday, November 5, 2007
Question: Dear Brother, i became a catholic convert at the age of 17. I was influnced by a friend that i admired very much. At age 20 i married in the church at mass. My husband was in catholic school in the 1950 s and is very bitter against the church.Everytime i would try to go to mass with him he would make fun of it afteword. i just gave up and stopped going. 3 of my 5 children(they are all grown except one that is 17) were baptized in the church but recived no instruction . When i was 32 and had 4 small kids and also was very ill with chronic asthma, i found out that my husband had been having an affair with the women that had been working for me for 2 years to help with housework and the children. For the next 18 mos i was in a fragile state and had almost 0 help from anyone. I took the kids and got an apartment. I found out shortley after that i was expecting another baby. At least one person(my brother in law) suggested that i get an abortion. At the time i'm sure my husband could care less if i did, he was so caught up with this women. He let his business, his wife and kids all go to hell because of his (love) obsession with her. I would have just walked in front of a bus to stop my pain but i knew that he and the women would end up with the kids. In desperation i turned to a local born again style church. They were kind and helped me alot and showed me i was not to blame. I had been so full of self loathing for not seeing what everyone else saw. I was blinded and actually thought this woman was my friend when in fact when my husband used to pick her up to bring her to our home(to work) they would go out to the hills behind my house first! Well fast forward 18 years, we stayed together. He stopped drinking for 5 years (he is an alcholic) and they were the happiest most peacefull years ever. He started drinking again 3 years ago. After 911 i realised if i were to die i want it to be in the church, however i have not attended regularly because of the pressure at home (jokes about priests. did they molest anyone etc) when i do go i am consumed by guilt that not one of my kids is catholic, so i just dont go.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Cordelia: I can see why you are discouraged and defeated -- because you are letting other people's behavior dictate your own and as a result you are starving to death without the Eucharist and God's grace. Your relationship with God is NOT dependent upon what others think or do. You need to focus your eyes on Jesus. You need to get to Confession and go back to Mass immediately -- this week. There is no excuse for you to stop going to Mass. So what about your husband. For that matter so what about your kids. Are you willing to risk your soul to hell because your husband is a jerk and your kids are wayward? If you want to have an influence to help your kids come back to God then you must be in God's friendship yourself. Set the example. The past is the past. Begin to live for God today and give up your pride that makes you feel defeated. So what that you life is not what you wanted. Welcome to the club. It is no excuse to abandoned the one person who loves you perfectly! I expect you to go to Confession THIS WEEK and attend Mass this coming Sunday. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Discouraged and defeated

cordelia

Monday, November 5, 2007

Question:

Dear Brother,

i became a catholic convert at the age of 17. I was influnced by a friend that i admired very much. At age 20 i married in the church at mass. My husband was in catholic school in the 1950 s and is very bitter against the church.Everytime i would try to go to mass with him he would make fun of it afteword. i just gave up and stopped going.

3 of my 5 children(they are all grown except one that is 17) were baptized in the church but recived no instruction .

When i was 32 and had 4 small kids and also was very ill with chronic asthma, i found out that my husband had been having an affair with the women that had been working for me for 2 years to help with housework and the children. For the next 18 mos i was in a fragile state and had almost 0 help from anyone. I took the kids and got an apartment. I found out shortley after that i was expecting another baby. At least one person(my brother in law) suggested that i get an abortion. At the time i'm sure my husband could care less if i did, he was so caught up with this women. He let his business, his wife and kids all go to hell because of his (love) obsession with her. I would have just walked in front of a bus to stop my pain but i knew that he and the women would end up with the kids.

In desperation i turned to a local born again style church. They were kind and helped me alot and showed me i was not to blame. I had been so full of self loathing for not seeing what everyone else saw. I was blinded and actually thought this woman was my friend when in fact when my husband used to pick her up to bring her to our home(to work) they would go out to the hills behind my house first!

Well fast forward 18 years, we stayed together. He stopped drinking for 5 years (he is an alcholic) and they were the happiest most peacefull years ever.

He started drinking again 3 years ago. After 911 i realised if i were to die i want it to be in the church, however i have not attended regularly because of the pressure at home (jokes about priests. did they molest anyone etc) when i do go i am consumed by guilt that not one of my kids is catholic, so i just dont go.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Cordelia:

I can see why you are discouraged and defeated -- because you are letting other people's behavior dictate your own and as a result you are starving to death without the Eucharist and God's grace. Your relationship with God is NOT dependent upon what others think or do. You need to focus your eyes on Jesus.

You need to get to Confession and go back to Mass immediately -- this week. There is no excuse for you to stop going to Mass. So what about your husband. For that matter so what about your kids. Are you willing to risk your soul to hell because your husband is a jerk and your kids are wayward?

If you want to have an influence to help your kids come back to God then you must be in God's friendship yourself. Set the example. The past is the past. Begin to live for God today and give up your pride that makes you feel defeated. So what that you life is not what you wanted. Welcome to the club. It is no excuse to abandoned the one person who loves you perfectly!

I expect you to go to Confession THIS WEEK and attend Mass this coming Sunday.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.