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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
marital relations in older couples	maria	Monday, April 14, 2008
Question: Happened to read that Pope John Paul II had said that marital relations is a good way to avoid demonic attacks. Yet, esp. for older couples and when there have been some distance in the relationship , would it be better to honor each other as brother/sister, instead of the often possessive /domineering pattern that has developed in many relationships ?
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Maria: I do not recall the discussion of Pope John Paul II, but I presume he was talking about avoiding demonic attacks relating to sexual temptations. St. Paul mentions this. He says that is one cannot avoid sexual sin, then get married so that the sexual faculty can be exercised properly. The Bible also advises that couple not avoid sex with other except for a brief time by mutual consent. There is no reason for older couples to have a distance in their relationship. It happens of course, but that distance can happen at any age. The remedy for distance between husband and wife is to renew their love for each other. That may require some marriage counseling. Marriage is to be a mutual self-giving in love. Love is to grow, not diminish. If there is distance then there is something wrong that needs to be addressed. Treating each other as a sibling does not address the issue, but avoids it. I am not sure in what context you are referring to when you talk about a "possessive/domineering pattern". In any event, such a patterns damages the relationship regardless of the age of the couple. The same goes for a "possessive/domineering pattern". There is something wrong, a personality problem perhaps or a behavioral problem. Perhaps there are self-esteem issues. In any regard, the possessive and domineering pattern cannot be resolved by treating one's spouse as a sibling. Such negative patterns are common among siblings and among friends. The solution here is to change this behavior. The motivation of the devil is to destroy a marriage. If he cannot do that then he will attempt to make a good marriage a bad one, a vibrant marriage a stale one, a passionate marriage a lackluster one, a close relationship a distant one. The couple should not let the Enemy do this to them. They need to renew their love and regain that closeness they once had. They need to stop problematic behavior. If marriage counseling will help with this, then they should find a good and loyal Catholic counselor. In whatever else they do, the couple needs to pray together, go before the Blessed Sacrament together, practice their faith together and renew their faith. In these ways, they may regain the marriage God tends them to have and by that keep the devil away. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

marital relations in older couples

maria

Monday, April 14, 2008

Question:

Happened to read that Pope John Paul II had said that marital relations is a good way to avoid demonic attacks.

Yet, esp. for older couples and when there have been some distance in the relationship , would it be better to honor each other as brother/sister, instead of the often possessive /domineering pattern that has developed in many relationships ?

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Maria:

I do not recall the discussion of Pope John Paul II, but I presume he was talking about avoiding demonic attacks relating to sexual temptations. St. Paul mentions this. He says that is one cannot avoid sexual sin, then get married so that the sexual faculty can be exercised properly. The Bible also advises that couple not avoid sex with other except for a brief time by mutual consent.

There is no reason for older couples to have a distance in their relationship. It happens of course, but that distance can happen at any age.

The remedy for distance between husband and wife is to renew their love for each other. That may require some marriage counseling. Marriage is to be a mutual self-giving in love. Love is to grow, not diminish. If there is distance then there is something wrong that needs to be addressed. Treating each other as a sibling does not address the issue, but avoids it.

I am not sure in what context you are referring to when you talk about a "possessive/domineering pattern". In any event, such a patterns damages the relationship regardless of the age of the couple.

The same goes for a "possessive/domineering pattern". There is something wrong, a personality problem perhaps or a behavioral problem. Perhaps there are self-esteem issues. In any regard, the possessive and domineering pattern cannot be resolved by treating one's spouse as a sibling. Such negative patterns are common among siblings and among friends. The solution here is to change this behavior.

The motivation of the devil is to destroy a marriage. If he cannot do that then he will attempt to make a good marriage a bad one, a vibrant marriage a stale one, a passionate marriage a lackluster one, a close relationship a distant one.

The couple should not let the Enemy do this to them. They need to renew their love and regain that closeness they once had. They need to stop problematic behavior. If marriage counseling will help with this, then they should find a good and loyal Catholic counselor.

In whatever else they do, the couple needs to pray together, go before the Blessed Sacrament together, practice their faith together and renew their faith.

In these ways, they may regain the marriage God tends them to have and by that keep the devil away.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.