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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
physical appearance	Katie	Saturday, August 16, 2008
Question: I suffer from envy everyday and lately it has gotten worse. I am enraged when I see what others have and I don't have. Mostly it is an issue of vanity, but it has gotten extreme. I see that others have more money and are better looking than I am and I become violently angry inside. I go to confession and confess my rage, but the next day I am the same way. When I am in church, a number of vicious things go through my mind, one of which is that everyone is ugly and I shouldn't be around such ugly people. I used to be really nice and these things didn't matter to me. I get angry and wonder what kind of God would create ugly people. Once looks weren't an issue for me, but now I feel hatred and contempt. I think the devil is exacerbating a pride issue. I used to be relatively confident I was good-looking, but now I hate how I look but am anxious to see if men admire me. Any modesty starts to become a "deflating of my good looks", so I wear tight clothes. I feel like I should strut my stuff while I have it, but I hate anyone who is thinner or prettier than me and am always looking at other woman to see how I compare. Any implication or hint that I am not young enough sends me to the extreme of anxiety and rage and then to the mirror. It sounds funny, but it's horrible. Before I go to confession, I feel like I am going to throw up. In the confessional, I have to restrain my mind from thinking vulgarities. After confession, I used to not be able to sleep b/c my mind was filled with blaphemies that I found disgusting. On the way home from the church, I am secretly or not so secretly looking in car mirrors to see how I look. That is my first sin five minutes out of the confessional. I am caught in this cycle of vanity that seems to drive everything I do. I sometimes wish I could just cover my whole face up like Muslim women, and be over with it. I am obsessed and enraged and only concerned with my looks.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Katie: I am sorry to hear about these developments. You say that you were not always this way. Can you identify when this began? What was going on in your life at the time this began? While I cannot make a diagnosis in a Q&A Forum of course what you are describing could be psychological (in which you need to see a mental health professional) or it could be spiritual, or it could be a combination of both. On the spiritual side, which is what I deal with, I would certainly recommend that you pray the Rebuking Particular Spirits prayer found in our Catalog linked below. Just in case there are demons egging on this problem you can rebuke, for example, the spirits of pride, vanity, envy, anger, rage, hate, anxiety, and judgmentalism. Also, I would advise following the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance found in the HELP section linked below. Try these things and see if you have any relief from some of these symptoms. Perhaps if these prayers get rid of any demonic interference you can then deal productively with any pride or vanity issues that you have that are all yours and not a result of demonic harassment. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

physical appearance

Katie

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Question:

I suffer from envy everyday and lately it has gotten worse. I am enraged when I see what others have and I don't have. Mostly it is an issue of vanity, but it has gotten extreme. I see that others have more money and are better looking than I am and I become violently angry inside. I go to confession and confess my rage, but the next day I am the same way.

When I am in church, a number of vicious things go through my mind, one of which is that everyone is ugly and I shouldn't be around such ugly people. I used to be really nice and these things didn't matter to me. I get angry and wonder what kind of God would create ugly people. Once looks weren't an issue for me, but now I feel hatred and contempt.

I think the devil is exacerbating a pride issue. I used to be relatively confident I was good-looking, but now I hate how I look but am anxious to see if men admire me. Any modesty starts to become a "deflating of my good looks", so I wear tight clothes. I feel like I should strut my stuff while I have it, but I hate anyone who is thinner or prettier than me and am always looking at other woman to see how I compare. Any implication or hint that I am not young enough sends me to the extreme of anxiety and rage and then to the mirror. It sounds funny, but it's horrible.

Before I go to confession, I feel like I am going to throw up. In the confessional, I have to restrain my mind from thinking vulgarities. After confession, I used to not be able to sleep b/c my mind was filled with blaphemies that I found disgusting. On the way home from the church, I am secretly or not so secretly looking in car mirrors to see how I look. That is my first sin five minutes out of the confessional. I am caught in this cycle of vanity that seems to drive everything I do. I sometimes wish I could just cover my whole face up like Muslim women, and be over with it. I am obsessed and enraged and only concerned with my looks.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Katie:

I am sorry to hear about these developments.

You say that you were not always this way. Can you identify when this began? What was going on in your life at the time this began?

While I cannot make a diagnosis in a Q&A Forum of course what you are describing could be psychological (in which you need to see a mental health professional) or it could be spiritual, or it could be a combination of both.

On the spiritual side, which is what I deal with, I would certainly recommend that you pray the Rebuking Particular Spirits prayer found in our Catalog linked below. Just in case there are demons egging on this problem you can rebuke, for example, the spirits of pride, vanity, envy, anger, rage, hate, anxiety, and judgmentalism.

Also, I would advise following the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance found in the HELP section linked below.

Try these things and see if you have any relief from some of these symptoms. Perhaps if these prayers get rid of any demonic interference you can then deal productively with any pride or vanity issues that you have that are all yours and not a result of demonic harassment.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.