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Question Title Posted By Question Date
New Catholic with twinkle toes Teddy Thursday, October 16, 2008

Question:

Hello,
I recently became catholic through the RCIA program. Before entering the chuch I was doing a "meditation" which I later found out to be contemplative prayer (prayer of quiet, stillness) During these prayers I had some very interesting experiences. These experiences were mostly involuntary body movements, noises (such as grunts, screams, etc...), facial expressions, etc... I began going to daily mass and noticed at points in the mass my toes or feet would move involuntarily (I call this twinkle toes). Also facial expressions happened often in mass. I continued the prayer and these experiences also continued.

Eventually I enterred the church. I am now about 7 months a catholic (daily mass). I still get twinkle toes in mass. I still also get facial expressions and the like.

At this point there is no doubt there are two of me in here (well, at least 2), me and "not me". And I am quiet certain "not me" doesn't like me. "Not me" seems to make his presence felt every day throughout the day. He says "hello" at varying times such as the following: a pretty girl with a way-too-short skirt walks by and I refuse to look, a judgemental thought comes and I refuse to entertain it, etc...

I mentioned I was having interesting experiences once to a confessor and he wasn't surprised. Unfortunately I have not been able to talk about this with many people to get some idea of whats happening. I think I know but would like confirmation.

Thank you for your response.

Our Lord's will be done,
Teddy



Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Teddy:

Congratulations on coming into the Church.

Such experiences are not the usual experiences one has when doing contemplative prayer. What you are describing sounds more like a dissociative state.

I would advise that you see a qualified psychologist as soon as possible and tell him what you are experiencing. If you do not have the funds or insurance to pay for this, try Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services. They usually offer psychological services on a sliding-scale.

Without knowing more there is little I can add other than you need to see a psychologist to explore the possibility that you are experiencing dissociative states.

I will say that you should stop this contemplative prayer that you were doing until more is known about what is going on.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary 


P.S.

Teddy,

After further review of your question, we decided that we would like to point out that the fact that all of these things that are happening to you could also very well be demonic in origin given the proximity to your joining the Church.  Satan doesn't like it when someone joins the Catholic Church, and sometimes things like this can happen in retaliation.

Therefore, we recommend that in addition to what Brother already suggested, you should visit the Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog and pray the prayers listed on there for protection and for rebuking particular spirits.  If after you have tried those things you are still having problems, you may want to contact us for a personal consultation once we open back up for new clients.

Do take courage and do not let your heart be troubled by these things.  Remember what Scripture says:  "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Joe Meineke


For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.