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Question Title Posted By Question Date
confronting a sexual abuser Faith Saturday, January 3, 2009


I am surprised at your answer to the poster who suffered abuse at the hands of their father as a child. First and foremost, the father is a pedophile and sex offender, yet you tell the poster to forgive him. As great as that might be, forgiving the offender does not address the problem, which is that offenders are usually REPEAT offenders, and for that reason often belong behind bars.

I think what is also being completely ignored here is that the poster stated that they have many siblings, which suggest taht there are probably many GRANDCHILDREN in the family. Abusers are often arrogant sociopaths with no regard for their actions. I am just very sad that the only advice given to the questioner was to forgive. I would be willing to bet that abuse is still going on in that family somewhere but because people are unwilling to confront the sexual abuse, and put all the responsibility on the victim to "forgive" this cycle often continues. I am very disturbed at the answer given to the poor person who had to suffer this abuse.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Faith:

My response to Liesel was appropriate since she was asking about confronting her father for the purpose to help her heal: "I would like to confront my abuser and tell him he has not gotten away with it, and will have to answer to God for his crimes. I feel this will help me heal and be able to move on."

Such a confrontation rarely facilitates healing. Forgiveness is what brings about healing. I answered the question that was presented. That answer stands.

Liesel, however, posted again and included more information that was not given in the first post. I responded to that post with equal appropriateness. You have not read that post since I just published it a few minutes ago. I refer you now to that post.

As for sexual abusers, few of them are sociopaths. While many of them molest several children, once they are caught and spend time in prison, they rarely re-offend. In fact, study after study since 1970 that has tracked sex offenders after release from prison has proven that sex offenders are the LEAST likely to re-offend than any other ex-convict. The media's irresponsible hysteria-mongering has warped the facts.

Sexual abusers do need to be held accountable for their crimes. I recommended to Liesel that she contact the police since she beleives he is still seeking out children. That needs to be stopped.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

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