| Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
|---|---|---|
| Divorce to be Baptized? | Mary | Tuesday, April 29, 2008 |
Question: I am asking this on behalf of a friend. She has never been Baptized, and neither has her current husband. She wishes to become Catholic. Her first marriage has been annulled by the Church, but she was married (prior to the annulment) a second time before a justice of the peace to a man who had been married 3 times before this marriage. He is mentally ill, and unable to keep a steady job. They have a minor child together. She was told by someone at her local diocese that she would have to get a civil divorce from her husband before she could be received into the Church. ( He received an annulment last year, when hers was granted, but I do not know the status of his previous marriages). She is willing to live as brother and sister without a divorce, but the diocese said no to this, and is insisting on a civil divorce. She believes that her unwell spouse is unable to care for himself, and she feels obligated to abide by the vows she took. I suggested that the brother and sister relationship be adhered to, that a civil divorce be obtained, and her husband remain in her care. She could attend to him, her own salvation, and the well-being of her son who loves his father. They have very little money, as she is the only breadwinner at this time. Would this work? Is it underhanded? I included the financial part because Canon Lawyers can be expensive. Any advice is welcome. As an aside, her son is a Baptized Catholic, and is attending a parochial school. |
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| Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM
Dear Mary: Well, I do not know the particulars to be able to comment specifically to the case (and beside, I am not a Canon Lawyer and these things can be very technical). I would say that your friend should be sure to talk to someone at the Marriage Tribunal of her diocese and not to "just anyone" to be sure of the facts of where she stands in this. Also, while the diocese may "charge" for an annulment the annulment will go forward regardless of whether or not the person pays. Also, I might recommend that your friend contact the St. Joseph Foundation. This is a group of Canon Lawyers that do not charge but volunteer their time. As to living together as brother and sister while not being married there is no problem. This is no different than any roommate situation. If she is to be his caretaker, and not his lover, then there is no problem morally. There are plenty of people who have "live-in" nurses, maids, care-takers, etc. They should have separate bedrooms, however, and may not purport themselves as husband and wife. Thus, if a divorce is necessary as the diocese is suggesting, she could still be the man's caretaker and live with him as a sister and be morally okay. God Bless,
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