Dear Julie:

Thank you for this question. This is a very important question and a very tough one. I applaud you in wanting to do what is right and doing what is right is something that can be very hard. In the case of marital irregularities, what is right can be extremely hard. But, as you mentioned, these situations are such that we get ourselves into. Thus, as adults we need to accept the consequences and the responsibility to act properly in the face of those consequences.

To your first question concerning "How do we lead as full a Catholic-Christian life as possible until such time as we can remove the impediment to our receiving the Eucharist?"

Even though a person in this situation cannot receive our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament and cannot hold certain volunteer or paid positions in the parish, one can participate in most all other ways -- attending Mass, prayer sessions, personal prayers and devotions. In other words live as a good Catholic in every other way. A certain grace can come from this that may help to do that really needs to be done...

Living a good Christian life, Catholic or not, requires avoidance of sin. Thus, until the impediments are resolved and the marriage regularized in the Church, the couple must remain chaste -- living as brother and sister, otherwise they commit adultery. If one falls, then that needs to be confessed, but there must be a firm and serious intention and deliberate effort to live as brother and sister. If the couple agrees to do this, and as long as scandal is avoided, I think, reception of the Eucharist is possible since the couple is remaining chaste -- but would have to double-check that.

On the second question concerning what happens if the impediment cannot be resolved, well, this is a very tough thing, but it requires that the couple live as brother and sister for the remainder of their relationship. To live as a conjugal married couple is to commit adultery.

I know this is tough, but Jesus talked tough on this sort of thing. He said that if one's eye is cause of sin, then pluck out the eye for it was better to enter heaven with one eye, than to go to hell with two eyes.

On the last question about ways to obtain grace besides the Most Holy Sacrament, the answer is yes in a limited way, as described above that may serve to lead a person to what they must really do -- live as brother and sister, availing themselves of confession if they fall.

The grace that God will give you both will be great if you take the high and perfect road. To offer your suffering up to God of not being able to live a conjugal life will bring you many graces and will even bring you a fulfilled life. While sex is a very important aspect of the bond of marriage, it is not absolutely required. Many married couple are not able to enjoy the marital embrace for many reasons, yet their marriages are happy and fulfilled.

I am not suggesting this is easy, but what in life that really gives us grace is easy. Jesus talks about that when he talked about loving others. He said that what is it to love your family and friends, even the pagans do that, rather the real test of love is to love the stranger and even love one's enemies.

A couple in the situation you describe have a wonderful opportunity to pass the test of true love -- true love between themselves, and true love for God.

To pass this test will give the couple true rewards and grace beyond their imagination. Fidelity to God in the toughest of circumstances always brings the greatest graces.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary