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Question Title Posted By Question Date
RE: marriage Tannianly Saturday, September 4, 2004

Question:

Dear Brother Ignatius,

Your comment that was given to the previous post was given to me by you as well. I fill it anyways. I to am very much confused with the entier issue and need re-education. I feel that more then ever do we need to relearn what a family is and what makes one. The first church is after all the family.

Could you please define marital embrace, from your previous post? I guess i missed out on that one.

Does it mean consumming it to the fullest into having children when regarding the fact of a sterile wife. Why can a women or a men who is steril not get married in the church?? NOw common that is a bit harsh i find. My heart cries out to those who can't and that are in love.

Can the Lord not give life to whom he wants. I look at Mary who gave birth in impossible ways through the Holy spirit. I look at Elizabeth who gave birth in an impossible way. The story of Tobit who married this women and lived to have a nice family. The women that was crying in the temple, and that the Prophet thougth she was crying when Isia told her to go home that the Lord had answered her prayers. She gave birth to a boy who was long awaited for.

Sorry for saying it this way and it takes room i know. But, can they not get married even if they can not consumate their love what ever definition you may put into it and trust into the Lord with it all. Love does conquor all after all.

I don't know i just find it hard to understand. That must be a very heavy burden to carry for any women or men.

Please to teach us. For i think that that can involve a lot and go case by case as one would say. Sometimes there are grey ereas. It's not just black and white.

Tannianly.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+


Dear Tannianly:

As mentioned in my answer just before this one, there seems to be a misunderstanding between the nature of sterility as oppose to impotence.

Sterility is the inability to produce children for whatever reasons. Pregnancy does not occur

Permanent impotency is the inability to perform sexual intercourse at all.

A sterile person MAY get married in the Catholic Church. Since marriage has TWO purposes: 1) procreation; and 2) bonding of the spouses. Even if the procreation purpose does not exist because of sterility or old age or whatever, the other purpose of marriage remains and thus still makes the marriage valid. Once a marriage is valid it remains valid even if someday sexual intercourse is no longer possible for the couple due to illness, disability, infirmity, or whatever.

A person who is permanently impotent, on the other hand, is a person who can never have sexual intercourse. Without the ability to have sexual intercourse it is not possible to consummate the marriage, it is not possible to procreate, and it is not possible to have the bonding that sexual intercourse brings. Thus the couple cannot effect a valid marriage.

The only exception to this is that of the Blessed Mother who never experienced the marital embrace with Joseph and was impregnated without that embrace.

The rest of humanity is conceived through the normal sexual act and thus while God may move to allow a pregnancy of someone who is sterile, He is not going to facilitate a pregnancy that does not involve sex with a man as He did with the Blessed Mother. That was a singular grace given to the Blessed Mother alone. 

"Marital embrace" is a phrase that is more loving that "sexual intercourse". Any dog in an alley can have sexual intercourse, but only a married couple in love can embrace each other in a way that is not only sexual, but profoundly spiritual.

I hope this clears things up a little.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary


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